Lies, The Internet, and Other Misdemeanors

Lies, The Internet, and Other Misdemeanors

My friends and family of the right wing persuasion have finally figured out to take me off their distribution lists for those viral emails that circulate about the internets. It was a lesson hard taught, because I felt obliged to obsessively research the facts and then reply to those emails, systematically destroying the wingnut talking points. You humiliate those wingnuts enough times, and they take you off their email lists.

Now, not everyone has the OCD to research and debunk these talking points, nor the need to be so...well, frankly, confrontational. So for people like that (you know, the ones much nicer than me), Media Matters has created an action site just for you. In it, they take some of the common viral emails--and then write responses to them, debunking the lies and very politely suggesting that the sender might want to use that gray matter lodged in his noggin for more than regurgitating Hannity. (I paraphrase, of course)

For example:

From: XXXXX@aol.com
To: XXXXXXXX@hotmail.com
Date: Saturday, August 01, 2009 6:18 AM
Subject: Fw: Senior's death warrent

SENIOR DEATH WARRANTS:

The actress Natasha Richardson died after falling skiing in Canada. It took eight hours to drive her to a hospital. If Canada had our healthcare she might be alive today. We now have helicopters that would have gotten her to the hospital in 30 minutes. Obama wants to have our healthcare like Canada's and England's.

In England anyone over 59 cannot receive heart repairs or stents or bypass because it is not covered as being too expensive and not needed.

I got this today and am sending it on. If Obama's plans in other areas don't scare you, this should.

Please do not let Obama sign senior death warrants.

Everybody that is on this mailing list is either a senior citizen, is getting close or knows somebody that is.

Most of you know by now that the Senate version (at least) of the "stimulus" Bill includes provisions for extensive rationing of health care for senior citizens.

The author of this part of the bill, former senator and tax evader, Tom Daschle was credited today by Bloomberg with the following statement.

Bloomberg: Daschle says "health-care reform will not be pain free. Seniors should be more accepting of the conditions that come with age instead of treating them."

If this does not sufficiently raise your ire, just remember that Senators and Congressmen have their own healthcare plan that is first dollar or very low co-pay which they are guaranteed the remainder of their lives and are not subject to this new law if it passes.

Please use the power of the Internet to get this message out. Talk it up at the grassroots level.... We have an election coming up in one year and nine months. We have the ability to Address and reverse the dangerous direction the Obama administration and it allies have begun and in the interim, we can make their lives miserable.

Lets do it! If you disagree, don't do anything.

Media Matters' response?

Hey, thanks for forwarding along that email.

It's nuts how many rumors are swirling around out there about the health bills. It's hard to know which ones are true and which ones are just crazy internet rumors.

If this one were true, I'd be pretty upset - so I decided to see if I could find out for myself.

It turns out Tom Daschle never even said that about "seniors should be more accepting of the conditions that come with age." Apparently that quote actually comes from a woman who is adamantly against any health care improvements named Betsy McCaughey. When a reporter confronted her about the chain email, even she admitted it wasn't true, saying "I regret any misrepresentations made by others of my work or Mr. Daschle's views."

You can read it yourself here: http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/statements/2009/apr/03/chain-email/daschle-didnt-say-seniors-seniors-should-accept-ra/

As for Natasha Richardson, that was heartbreaking. I remember when I heard, I couldn't believe it! But the email lies about her already tragic situation.

It did take a while for her to visit a hospital, but that's because she initially said she wasn't hurt. A Bloomberg news story said "She initially laughed off her fall and said she was fine." And Fox News says the first ambulance that showed up was even turned away.

A few hours later she was taken to a hospital when she got a headache, but by then it was too late.

If you want to know more, you can read these articles: http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601088&sid=aXuH_CcQz_Vs&refer=muse
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,509749,00.html

As for England, I found a cool website called FactCheck.org that examined the claim about "England anyone over 59 cannot receive heart repairs or stents or bypass because it is not covered as being too expensive and not needed." They said that just wasn't true.

But all of that should be irrelevant - because no one even wants Canada's health care system. The president and Democrats in congress know that we have been paying too much, for too long, for too little and are trying to find a "uniquely American solution" to control costs.

The same website actually shows that this entire email is pretty much made up, check it out: http://www.factcheck.org/2009/07/englands-and-canadas-health-care/

All these emails going around are pretty scary, but it's important to figure out if they're true. After doing some research, I can say for sure this one is filled with lies.

See? Much nicer than I would have been (and far fewer swear words), and yet, still getting the truth out there.

Go check out MM's Email Checker. If you've received a viral email that you don't see, you are welcome to send it to Media Matters so they can add it to their collection and give you a response.

The Tel Aviv Gay Bombings, The Birmingham Church Massacre; History Teaches Us?

70,000 in Tel Aviv for vigil, August 8, 2009

1963 Birmingham Church Bombing

The Tel Aviv Gay Massacre, the Birmingham Church Bombings; History Teaches Us?

Lethal dynamite has made Sunday, September 15, 1963, a Day of Sorrow and Shame in Birmingham, Alabama. Four who were attending Sunday School at the Sixteenth Street Baptist Church were killed. Their bodies were stacked up on top of each other like bales of hay from the crumbling ruins left by the dynamiting. They were girls. They were children. They were members of a minority; African Americans. They were victims of cruel madness, the vile bigotry and the deadly hate of unknown persons.

Society in a free country has a solemn responsibility to itself and those who make it up. Free men are bound by an irrevocable civic contract to safeguard the rights, safety, and security of all of its members.

More than 70,000 people thronged Tel Aviv on Saturday evening, August 8^th, 2009 for an event to express solidarity with the homosexual community after a deadly attack on a gay club a week ago, organizers said.

President Shimon Peres was among speakers at the meeting on Yitzhak Rabin Square outside the city hall.

"The shots which struck this proud community affected us all as human beings, as Jews and as Israelis. The man who targeted the two victims targeted all of us," Peres said.

Two people died when a masked, black-clad gunman opened fire on the group of young gays and lesbians at the entrance to the community center in the heart of Israel’s commercial capital late on Saturday August 1, 2009.

These two horrible incidents 46 years apart reflect how bigotry and hatred have not changed in five decades. Whether it is right wing zealots or racist politicians, the Reverend Dobson or the late Gov. George Wallace, the result is the same. People will be driven to violence when a group of people, a minority gays or African Americans are minimized and discriminated against.

Both deadly actions were followed by demonstrations and pleas for understanding. In 1963 two additional youths lost their lives in bloody riots. Thankfully, so far no additional lives were lost in Israel. However bomb threats were called in for the demonstration held last Saturday, not unlike the KKK that threatened the church services for the slain little girls in Birmingham.

The Orthodox Jewish community of Israel has blood on its hands for calling homosexuality a perversion. They, like Lester Maddox, George Wallace, and the KKK have stirred hate and for that, there is no excuse. I am ashamed today to have been raised an Orthodox Jew. They have sullied the name of religion forever in my heart.

Have a peaceful and inclusive week.

Nate Klarfeld

Power vs. Force

Power vs. Force

The skillful are not obvious

They appear to be simple-minded

Those who know this know the patterns of the Absolute

To know the patterns is the Subtle Power

The Subtle Power moves all things and has no name

Many of us spend a lot of our time developing our physical strength. We are inspired to work out, to build a strong, athletic body—but is being strong the only sign of our true personal power? What if physical force was only one aspect of power? What if we could find a way to truly feel we are powerful in a way that includes all aspects of who we are—physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual?

Look at our top athletes. Can a gymnast win Olympic gold with pure strength alone? No, he/she needs focus and grounding as well as a strong body. Can a wrestler succeed only with brute force? No, he/she needs flexibility, both physical and mental, to really achieve. So, let's reframe power. Let's say that in order to be truly powerful, you will need to have not only physical strength and courage, but will also need to develop focus, grounding, and flexibility with the same amount of effort and diligence.

We can build our bodies to exert great Force. But where does the Power come from? Can we achieve anything with just force? Or do we need an inner power to drive us, to give us meaning, and display the qualities of a real winner.

If a politician or political party uses the threat of Force or Fear to gain acceptance there will be some success, but eventually the energy it takes to constantly plant the force will drain both the politician and the community. Force has to be constantly justified, Power does not because it has meaning. A simple example of Power vs Force is the difference between Barack Obama and Dick Cheney. One will be remembered for his use of power, the other will be stained with a repetitive use of force that both failed him and our country.

But back to our own bodies and minds. To channel our strengths we need

Focus

Flexibility

Grounding

Focus

What are we working towards with exercise, diet, or studying? How will this change our experiences? Do we want to live longer? Look better? Increase our stamina? What will you look like and feel when you have achieved this? Focus keeps us on the right track.

Flexibility

Which is stronger; a palm tree or telephone pole? In a storm the palm tree bends and the telephone pole breaks. If a plan is not working, you need flexibility to move in a different direction and still achieve your end goal. Sometimes you need strength (Force) and other times you need to let the Power move you on and up.

Grounding

I believe that the people that you choose to surround yourself with are the most important facet of achieving a successful, content life. They can reflect and give you quality feedback only if they share your values, goals and life’s script. Many times we hang on to relationships that are forever toxic “for old times’ sake” only to fine that the never ending drip-drip of negativity is draining our energy to make our own lives real. Your friends and loved ones should be a source of positive energy, not guilt, reminders of failure, and bad past experiences.

Use your Power

Have a peaceful week

Nate Klarfeld

What Do You Really Want...and What Will You Do to Keep from Getting It?

What Do You Really Want…and What Will You Do to Keep From Getting It?

If you have ever wanted to change something in your life, be it lose weight, stop smoking, start going to the gym, change careers; you know that almost as soon as the thought comes into your mind, a powerful force strikes you. “That’s not me. I can’t do it. I’m not strong enough, smart enough or rich enough to pull that off. That is for other people. I’m just not that lucky. Bad Genes and Bad Luck. Never going to happen to me.”

So you try and go for it. Join a gym, take a class, start to meditate, and you may even see results, but somewhere the old tapes come up again, seemingly out of nowhere. We seem programmed to stay the same even when we know better. We stay in the same job, keep falling into the same relationships, debt and guilt that seem to be stamped on our lives.

What then is the key to unlocking our own handcuffs?

The Man in the Mirror

I know this week with Michael Jackson’s death and over exposed news coverage this might be a bad time to use that phrase, but it really does work. What is the first thing that comes to mind when you look at yourself in the mirror? Too fat? Too Old? Most people have been trained to feel uncomfortable about their looks and shape. Only a very few people have perfect bodies, perfect ‘age’, or skin, and even those that do rarely feel that way. What do you really see? Are you compassionate to your friends? Do you have interests in your community? Do you have something valuable to give to society? Answer these four questions in front of the mirror and keep them handy.

People work to their self image

You will always perform at a level equal to your self-image.

Our self-image is the portrait we have of ourselves. It’s the picture we’ve created about ourselves and is commonly based on past experience. So if a new desire for improvement is introduced and it conflicts with our current self-image, it is doomed to fail.

Our actions, behaviors and discipline are all heavily influenced by our self-image. Even if you force yourself via will power to do things beyond your self-image, you won’t be able to sustain it for very long.

You will go back to the old behaviors consistent with your belief about yourself because you act from this belief.

What one action do you need to do tomorrow to affect change? Get information about a gym? Talk to someone about taking a course? Set up a timetable to get a job done? Do one thing a day towards what you really want. Change one part of your behavior and then your body and mind will follow.

It is very hard to sustain significant changes in behavior without changes in individuals’ underlying meanings that give rise to their behaviors.

The first question I ask of your ‘excuses’ is “IS IT TRUE?” really true? Where did this meaning come from? A childhood incidence? A relatives’ offhand remark? One of the most powerful voices we have is how we speak to ourselves. It’s not just the content but actually ‘how’ we speak to ourselves that becomes toxic.

In my own life I have a saying I came up with that helps me when I get in a downward spiral of bad self talk. I say to myself; “Stop complaining and start committing. Committing to self awareness, sticking to my values, and becoming the change I want to see.

Have a peaceful week.

Nate Klarfeld

But Wait, There's More!!

“But Wait…There’s More!!!”

Lost in the past few weeks’ trifecta of celeb deaths; MJ, FF and Ed McM, was the loss Billy Mays, pitchman extraordinaire. No one on the planet hasn’t heard; “I’m Billy Mays for OxyClean! (Hercules Hooks, Big City Sliders, etc) and stopped and wondered why they were captivated by his energy, voice, and vigor.

I have to admit, I would have never bought OxyClean, or my Big City Slider Pan (which by the way makes excellent low fat turkey burgers) had it not been for Billy’s constant loud voice booming on cable channels begging me to try his product.

But what was he really selling? Did anything he pitch for a necessity of life? Food, Clothing, Shelter, Education? Nope, what Billy Mays sold us was HOPE.

Hope that somehow his tchotcke (my mother taught me you cannot misspell a transliteration) would make our lives a tiny bit easier. That one scoop, one pan, one saw, one set of knives would bring us light into our normally dark world. We knew when we opened the package that the dream would never fit the reality, but we bought again and again. Hope springs eternal especially for insomniacs addicted to reruns of “House”.

And we believed him. Industry spokesmen have said his sales were over a billion dollars in his lifetime and will continue as several infomercials will continue after his death.

Some might call this crass, but it was what Billy would have wanted….

But Wait…There’s More

RIP

Billy Mays

Have a peaceful week

Nate Klarfeld

What If A Miracle Happened?

What If A Miracle Happened?

If a miracle occurred overnight and you had all the changes in life you wanted, what is the first thing you would feel? What is the first thing you would notice?

How would your face and back and neck feel? Would you be in a different city? Wearing a suit? A Speedo? Pajamas? Who would be with you? Your significant other? Your business partner? Servants? Huge audience?

Tomorrow morning when you wake up, what will you see yourself doing, thinking, or believing about yourself that will tell you that a miracle has actually taken place?

We all have goals and aspirations. Some are broad and expansive like creating a successful business or having a loving family. Some are small and direct like losing weight or learning Spanish. Our goals are rooted in some sort of wish that things can be better, only if…But rarely do we imagine what it would “feel” like to have all the changes in life we want. If better finances are your goal, would you finally feel safe and relaxed when you hear that the stock market has had yet another bad day? If your goal was to be a compassionate parent would you feel that safety as your child went off on an evening with friends?

Did you answer “Happiness” as the first thing you would feel?

A car, a business, or a plump bank account does not equal happiness. Merely ‘having’ a spouse and children doesn’t ensure happiness either. Many of us believe that A Perfect Body = My Happiness, A Partner = My Happiness, or A Beautiful Home = My Happiness. No miracle can give you happiness. Happiness is a choice, your choice; it does not depend on having.

Living honestly – integrated so that your thoughts and beliefs mirror your daily actions bring us happiness. It is easy to be financially successful, a loving partner, and a compassionate parent when you see that happiness and integrity is a choice – yours.

The Miracle Already Happened – You Were Born Rich

Have a peaceful week

Nate Klarfeld

Can You Learn To Be Happy?

 

Can you learn to be Happy?

 

Are we born with an innate ability to be happy? Or is it something we mirror from those who influenced our early lives? With all the talk of chemical imbalances and genetic predispositions to mental disorders, many of us have begun to think that being happy is like being tall or blonde, you are born with it or you are not. While some people do have biologic conditions that make it difficult to control their feelings, I believe most of us suffer from ‘group think’; our environment, the people we associate with, and our self-talk that comes from it, have made us feel that stress, depression and unhappiness is the norm. That simply is not the case.

 

If you have been reading this blog or the newspaper column my partner and I wrote for the Independent Gay News years ago you are familiar with my background. I am a retired dentist, raised in an observant Jewish home of Holocaust survivor parents, came out of the closet later in life, and worked with non-profits in South Florida for about 8 years. The sum of me is that I have had therapy, suffered depression, survived cancer, raised a great son, and now am in a fantastic relationship with the man of my dreams, Dr. Grover Lawlis.  I add this to impress upon you that I have experienced the spectrum of life, death, separation, and joy.

 

Along the way I have picked up some nuggets, some from the therapist’s couch, some from the hard knocks of life, some from my friends, and of course my resident psychiatrist, Grove. Here are the three BIG ONES that guide my life:

 

 

Happiness - You have to find both meaning and pleasure

 

Creating my day-The day awaits

 

Breathing – Waiting to Inhale

 

 

Happiness

            Why do we want to be happy? Aristotle believed that we pursue happiness because it is in our nature to do so. When the answer to any question is “because it will make me happy” nothing can challenge the validity and finality of the answer. Dr Tal Ben-Shahar defines happiness as “the overall experience of pleasure and meaning. A happy person enjoys positive emotions while perceiving his or her life as purposeful.” This definition does not pertain to one moment, but a generalized snapshot of a person’s whole.

 

When we find both Meaning and Pleasure we see happiness as something within us rather than something to attain. Pleasure is something we feel good or happy about now. Meaning is a future benefit that gives us happiness. When we find our lives with Meaning and Pleasure and practice it, we begin to live in happiness.

 

Creating My Day

            I’ve quoted Dr. Joe Dispenza's comments on creating his day from the movie, What the Bleep Do We Know? In response to the numerous requests, the following is the transcript of that part of the interview.

"I wake up in the morning and I consciously create my day the way I want it to happen. Now sometimes, because my mind is examining all the things that I need to get done, it takes me a little bit to settle down and get to the point of where I'm actually intentionally creating my day. But here's the thing: When I create my day and out of nowhere little things happen that are so unexplainable, I know that they are the process or the result of my creation. And the more I do that, the more I build a neural net in my brain that I accept that that's possible. (This) gives me the power and the incentive to do it the next day.

"So if we're consciously designing our destiny, and if we're consciously from a spiritual standpoint throwing in with the idea that our thoughts can affect our reality or affect our life -- because reality equals life -- then I have this little pact that I have when I create my day. I say, 'I'm taking this time to create my day and I'm infecting the quantum field. Now if (it) is in fact the observer's watching me the whole time that I'm doing this and there is a spiritual aspect to myself, then show me a sign today that you paid attention to any one of these things that I created, and bring them in a way that I won't expect, so I'm as surprised at my ability to be able to experience these things. And make it so that I have no doubt that it's come from you,'

 

Breathing – Waiting to Inhale

Alan Hymes, M.D., has said in Science of Breath that it is through our lower lungs that the most oxygen can be circulated into the bloodstream. By holding tension, we constrict the lower lungs and subsequently breathe mostly in our upper lungs, which aren't able to take in as much air. So, we have to work harder and faster with each breath. This rapid breathing puts the body on alert, firing up the nervous system to think that there is an emergency, moving the body into a state of stress. And this is happening all the time! This is the plight of living in our modern, urban world. The stress and stimulus of our lives affects the breath, which puts strain on the body, leading to burnout, depression, and even illness. 


So, let's practice a way of breathing that will create more flexibility in your diaphragm and belly. This will maximize your oxygen intake and allow the body to relax. Sit comfortably and take a few minutes to go within. Listen to your natural breath and let your belly relax with each breath. When you are ready, breathe out and exhale fully. You should notice that your belly goes inward towards your spine. Then let your diaphragm drop down towards your pelvis and feel the air pour in. You should notice that your belly expands and gets bigger. I suggest you breathe in through your nose and breathe out through your mouth. This is a great, general way to breathe, good for anything—working out, any cardio-vascular activity, as well as walking, cooking, hanging out. Take about fifteen minutes for this and try to do it at least three times a week. If you are having trouble feeling this in-and-out motion of the belly, then lie on your back or stomach and try it. Keep practicing this until it becomes a new habit, second nature. 

 

Finally, I have been asked many times what supplements or sleeping pills I take. I have moved away from the multi vitamin route and now just take a strong anti-oxidant and an Omega 3-6-9. The following links are the products that Grove and I now use, and I have to be honest, they do work.

 

http://www.marketamerica.com/shopwithnate/index.cfm?action=media.wpVidPlayer

 

http://www.marketamerica.com/shopwithnate/index.cfm?action=shopping.wpGoShopProducts&prodID=2247

 

 

Have a peaceful week

 

Nate Klarfeld