Sunday, February 14, 2010

It DOES Matter What You Do When No One Is Watching


It DOES Matter What You Do When No One Is Watching

(Interconnectiveness, Quantum Mechanics and The Kabbalah)

Every since childhood we have been toying with the question of good vs. evil. From being praised as a ‘good’ boy or girl; to making choices with an angel and devil on our shoulders we are constantly fighting the demons of right and wrong and what the consequences of our actions will be.

Religion, especially Christianity, threatens us with an afterlife of eternal hell if we make too many wrong choices. Eastern religions believe in Karma, or a goodness/badness bank that we make deposits in the present to be rewarded or punished in the future.

Quantum mechanics, the science of sub atomic particles and how they affect each other tells us that there is communication between electrons on a level we can’t measure, and if we try to measure it, the electron itself changes. This interconnection of all, at the subatomic level with all things being infinitely interconnected , is a radical new way of viewing the universe.

The writings of Kabbalah, The Zohar, talks about a connectedness between all things in the universe and our separation and closing off of this is the source of our pain. Fighting with our demons rather than accepting them and working with them contributes to a chronic low grade dissatisfaction and unhappiness. In the midst of chaos, turmoil and negativity, some people hide from their feelings and close access to their hearts. Other people react with profound faith, open hearts, and a committed courage to go on.

Now back to the title of this rant. “It DOES Matter What You Do When No One Is Watching.” Our daily news seems filled with people who thought their actions were never going to see the light of day. Tiger Woods, John Edwards, and Bill Clinton are just a few of the examples of getting caught. But what about the actions that we never hear about that are occur and impact the energy field? Do all actions affect a person good or bad? Lao Tzu teaches us “you cannot step in the same river twice”. The world is constantly changing and you and every organism in it changes the world in its own way.

What is occupying your thinking right now? Much of it is concerned with past actions that you feel you were mistreated or that you made a mistake. Worries about the future, the economy, and politics occupy a large part of our media and get transferred to our daily diet of fear, anger and resentment.

At the moment that we do something that is not in our true value system, we believe that what we are doing is justified. At that moment our ‘demons’ are telling us that the consequences are going to be less than immediate rewards. And of course we look around to see if any is watching our lapse. Quantum mechanics tells us that a field of energy is created from ourselves when take an action. This ‘field’ affects the entire universe..every so slightly, but the effect is there.

You are never alone, or isolated in any task you perform.

The totality of all things goes through one opening; the roots of all affairs come from one gate.

Witness the miracles that occur when you rejoin humanity and are no longer separate from anything, anyone, anywhere, at any time.

Have a peaceful week.

Nate Klarfeld

Thursday, February 4, 2010

300 Words




Generally speaking, the order of things is as follows: First there is your state of mind, then something happens to you (remember here that it could be good, or bad). Next in line is your “gut” reaction to it, you think about it (hopefully) and then comes your response.

Below is a list of over 300 words that describe emotions. If you have
a tough time expressing yourself verbally, print out this list
and use it when you know you feel something, but are unsure
of what words to use to describe it. The better you can express
yourself, the better other people can understand you, and the
more positive the outcome of any given situation can be.

Abandoned

Cool

Flabbergasted

Keen

Puny

Tender

Accepted

Cranky

Frantic

Kooky

Quarrelsome

Tenuous

Adequate

Cruel

Friendly

Laconic

Queer

Tense

Adamant

Crushed

Frightened

Lazy

Quiet

Tentative

Affectionate

Culpable

Frustrated

Lecherous

Raging

Terrible

Agonized

Curious

Free

Left out

Rapture

Terrified

Aggressive

Crazy

Full

Licentious

Reasonable

Tired

Alarmed

Deceitful

Furious

Limp

Refreshed

Thwarted

Almighty

Defeated

Gay

Lonely

Rejected

Tolerant

Altruistic

Delighted

Generous

Longing

Relaxed

Trapped

Ambivalent

Depressed

Genuine

Loving

Relieved

Triumphant

Angry

Deserving

Giddy

Low

Religious

Troubled

Annoyed

Desirous

Giving

Loyal

Remarkable

Ugly

Anxious

Desperate

Glad

Lustful

Remorseful

Unappreciated

Apathetic

Despairing

Good

Mad

Restless

Understanding

Appreciative

Destructive

Grateful

Marvelous

Resentful

Uneasy

Apprehensive

Determined

Gratified

Maudlin

Reverent

Unresponsive

Ashamed

Devastated

Greedy

Mean

Rewarded

Unsettled

Astounded

Devilish

Grievous

Melancholy

Righteous

Unsure

Attractive

Different

Groovy

Miserable

Sad

Vengeful

Awed

Diffident

Guileless

Misunderstood

Safe

Violent

Awkward

Diminished

Guilty

Mystical

Sated

Vehement

Bad

Discontented

Gullible

Naked

Satisfied

Vital

Bashful

Disjointed

Happy

Naughty

Scared

Vitality

Beautiful

Disoriented

Hateful

Needy

Screwed

Vulnerable

Betrayed

Disrespected

Healthy

Nervous

Screwed up

Vivacious

Bewildered

Dissatisfied

Heavenly

Nice

Self-reliant

Weepy

Bitter

Distracted

Helpless

Numb

Selfish

Wicked

Blissful

Distraught

Helpful

Nutty

Servile

Wise

Boisterous

Disturbed

High

Obnoxious

Settled

Wishful

Bold

Divided

Homesick

Obsessed

Sexy

Wishy-washy

Bored

Dominated

Honored

Obese

Shamed

Wonderful

Brave

Doubtful

Hopeful

Odd

Shocked

Weepy

Broken

Dubious

Humorous

Omnipotent

Shot down

Worried

Burdened

Eager

Hurt

Opposed

Shy

Wacky

Calm

Easy going

Hysterical

Optimistic

Sickened

Youthful

Capable

Ecstatic

Ignored

Ornery

Silly

Zany

Captivated

Elated

Immortal

Outraged

Sincere

Zapped

Challenged

Electrified

Imposed upon

Out of touch

Skeptical

Zealous

Charmed

Empty

Impressed

Overwhelmed

Sneaky

Zombie

Cheated

Enchanted

Imprisoned

Pained

Solemn

Cheerful

Energetic

In control

Panicked

Sorrowful

Childish

Enervated

Indecisive

Parsimonious

Spiteful

Clever

Enjoying

Infatuated

Pathetic

Startled

Closed

Envious

Infuriated

Peaceful

Stingy

Collected

Excited

Innocent

Persecuted

Strange

Combative

Exhilarated

Insecure

Pessimistic

Stubborn

Comfortable

Evil

Inspired

Petrified

Stuffed

Competent

Exasperated

Intimidated

Pitiful

Stupid

Competitive

Exhausted

Involved

Playful

Stupefied

Complicated

Exposed

Irresponsible

Pleasant

Suffering

Concerned

Fantastic

Irreverent

Pleased

Sure

Condemned

Fascinated

Isolated

Practical

Supportive

Confused

Fawning

Jealous

Pressured

Sympathetic

Conspicuous

Fearful

Joyous

Pretty

Talkative

Contented

Feminine

Jumpy

Prim

Teary

Contrite

Flustered

Kicky

Prissy

Tempted

Controlled

Foolish

Kind

Proud

Tenacious

Have a Peaceful Week

Nate Klarfeld

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Goals Deadlines Rewards & The Man in the Mirror



Goals Deadlines Rewards & The Man in the Mirror



Making a real change in your life requires 3 main factors

1) Goal

2) Deadline

3) Reward

Every “to do” list and idea that you come up with is just a dream without a clearly stated goal. Setting goals that are too far off in the distance don’t help create any momentum and leave you wishing and dreaming about ’some day’ when it’ll all happen for you.

The goal most be achievable, within sight, and clearly defined…and the most important factor to bring a goal to life is setting is a deadline. Without a clearly defined deadline a goal is meaningless.

Finally a goal must always be linked to a reward (otherwise what was the point of setting the goal in the first place). The reward can be physical, (lose weight, gain muscle) financial (get a better job, learn a language) or social (make new friends, find a partner, etc).

1. How your self talk changes your inner game

2. How your self image changes what you will and won’t do

3. How your self talk changes how people act

4. What it takes to change your body and mind

What’s the first thing you say or feel when you look at yourself in the mirror in the morning? Be honest. Is it “God I have to lose weight” or “I need to get more sleep” or “I wish I didn’t have to go to work today”. Let’s face it most of us don’t look in the mirror first thing and say, “I’m perfect! Let’s go have a productive day!” Some of this is societal programming. We are used to the media portraying disheveled people in the morning that are immediately sprung into action by either coffee, toothpaste, or whatever we’re being sold that day.

If you make a mistake at work, you might say to yourself,” I am the most stupid person in the world! I always make mistakes!”

In reality you do not always make mistakes and that everyone makes mistakes and feels foolish at one time or another. The behavioral aspect of this self talk asks you to note your mood or feelings when you are thinking these thoughts.

Painful emotions such as guilt, shame, and anxiety can aggravate pain and your Fibromyalgia. We are our thoughts. Negative thinking produces negative behavior. Some research suggests negative thinking causes illness. If negative thinking causes illness, can positive thinking create health? Makes sense to me.

All or nothing thinking. “I never stick to a diet or exercise regime.”

Overgeneralization. “All men/women are pigs, it’s not worth getting into a relationship.”

Disqualifying the positive. Rejecting positive experiences as short-lived and possibly not recurring. “I felt great on my last vacation but that will never happen again.”

Catastrophizing. You exaggerate the importance of things. “I can’t keep my house as clean as I used to. Therefore, I am a failure.” Are you a failure? No, you just cannot do as much as you used to. Ask for help. Learn to live with a messier house!

Should statements. “I should be able to lose weight quickly if I only started earlier.” Should statements by yourself and others are usually based in rash judgments rather than advice.

Personalization. You see yourself as the cause of some negative event for which you were not responsible. “It was my fault my last relationship tanked.”

Many people use the word “chemistry”, “magnetic attraction” or “air of self-confidence” when describing a person with inner strength. Managing your self talk and putting in line with your Goals, Deadlines, and Rewards will begin to shine in your eyes and others.

Have a peaceful week.

Nate Klarfeld

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

A Life Inventory...for 2010 and Beyond





A Life Inventory...for 2010 and Beyond

This week we will be barraged by "best of..", "worst of" 2009. Needless to say some of us will even make New Year's Resolutions such as exercise more, eat better, save money, etc. But will any of this introspection and goal setting make us happy? content? What are the things we do every day, every week, every month that give us happiness and contentment? Are we doing enough of that? Or are we caught up in just being a parent, a teacher, a doctor, a spouse to such a degree that we lose track of what gives us peace?

The following is a reprint of a great article by Joe Weston, a life coach who has great sense of self and the universe.
Have a peaceful week and a wonderful New Year!!
Nate Klarfeld

Many of us are caught up with the current economic struggles. Some of us have lost our jobs, some are worried about rising costs, while others are concerned about the future. We are all influenced in some way by our worries about money, our current status and our security.

I am asked often how to stay calm and centered at this time. I always recommend some good conscious breathing and a healthy dose of exercise and good diet as a way to alleviate the stress. Why does that work? Because the act of worrying takes energy. And when things in our lives get stressful, we generate a lot of energy to be able to overcome the problems. If we don’t take action, we find other ways to use that energy. Oftentimes, that means worry. But worrying is not overcoming problems. It’s just brooding and getting stuck in an anxious rut that causes more stress to the body.


So, the best solution is to use that energy for something more constructive. And if you don’t see any quick, creative solutions to the problems, then the best advice is to use that energy for something that brings benefit, like exercise, or maybe even a creative project, or volunteer work.


However, there is a more long-term approach to the worry and concerns about your current life situation. It’s called the practice of contentment.


What is Contentment?
Contentment is the state of being satisfied with what you have, with your status and current situation. It is not resignation, which is more about giving up, being a victim and feeling disempowered. Contentment is a very spiritual approach to life. In fact, most spiritual traditions would say that contentment is the first step to true happiness—even to enlightenment or heaven.


Being contented would mean that you are truly satisfied with your life as it is right now! Of course there is always room to grow and expand who we are and how we live our lives. But we can also be satisfied with how much we have and accept ourselves as we are. This is a powerful way to be in the world. This means that we are not victim to other’s opinions and we are not easily swayed from our viewpoints and beliefs. We actually live our lives in a more authentic way.


We live in a time that is set up to keep us from being content with ourselves and therefore we suffer from insecurity, lack of self-confidence and anxiety. Take a look at the media. The whole point of media and advertising is to convince you that you are not happy, that you don’t have enough, that you need more of what they are selling. When you buy their product, or when you have the lifestyle and body and looks of celebrities and models, then you will be happy.


The current economic system is set up to do the same thing. It is expected of you to try and earn as much money as you can. One house is not enough. Two cars are not enough. A six digit salary is not enough. There is always an anxious need to gain more, even if it means stepping on others to get there. Just take a look at what has caused our current economic crisis.


So, from the moment we are born we are brainwashed to believe that the only way to happiness is to earn as much money as possible, to have perfect abs, the perfect boyfriend or girlfriend, or the big house in the right neighborhood. If we don’t have these things, then we are not happy. Since most of us don’t have these things, we hold on to a neurotic need to be different than who we are and live life with much stress and anxiety as we helplessly look for the thing that will make us happy. And those of us who do have the money, the perfect abs and all the rest are just as unsettled, because they discover that the things they thought would make them happy really don’t. So they have to look even harder to find the illusive thing they are missing.


So, how do we overcome this deep-seated pattern within us? It takes nothing short of a revolution! I believe the most rebellious, subversive thing we can do at this moment is to consciously choose to be content! By doing so, we free ourselves from the pressures of the media and mainstream culture and we can live once again according to our own personal measure of what it means to be happy and to be a successful, empowered person.


So, how many of you will have the courage to say "I have enough! I am content with my life and who I am"? In the story of the Old Testament, after each day that God created something, he took a look at what he created and was able to say, “This is enough.” This allowed him to stop, be fully content with his achievements, not have anxiety, and take time to rest. What a good lesson for all of us!


So what is the practice of contentment? It is a very practical, methodical approach that requires you really do it all and not just think about it. It requires cutting through the confusion and really seeing you and your life as they really are at this moment. Here we go…


Want vs. Need
The first step is to meditate and contemplate the differences between a want and a need. A want is usually based on fantasy. It’s usually something we don’t have and we think that when we get it, we will be happy. Wanting something usually leads to never feeling satisfied because the mind is a very creative thing, easily persuaded by the latest trends and always dreaming up more and more things to want. This means you rarely get the chance to fully enjoy what you already have.


A need on the other hand is more practical and has to do with the basics—either physical, emotional, mental or spiritual. You may want caviar every night, but all you may need is a can of tuna. You may want the “perfect boyfriend”, but what you may need is affection, support and fun. Which seem easier to attain? Don’t get me wrong—it’s okay to want something, to desire something. It’s great to have dreams, but dreams take time to attain, maybe a lifetime, while getting your needs met can happen quickly—if you can identify what they are and if you have the courage to ask!


Inventory Your Life
Take time to look at your finances/possessions.

1. How many assets do you have? How much stuff?

2. How much do you need per month? This includes your physical, emotional, social, work, intellectual and spiritual needs.

3. Once you establish what you need, meditate on it and notice how it would feel to have just enough. No more, no less.

4. Evaluate your current situation with what you need. Do you have enough? If the answer is yes, then meditate and feel that. If you have too much, is the clutter and excess causing you stress? Meditate and feel that. If you don’t have enough, how does that feel?

Take action. If you feel you have too much or not enough, what can you do to get to that place where you can say “I have enough- not too much, not too little.” What steps can you take to eliminate the clutter and stress, or what steps can you take to meet your basic needs?

Now do the same with other areas of your life: for instance relationships, work, partnership. Follow the same steps and check in to see if your needs are being met and how that makes you feel. The final question in all areas of your life is always: Do you have enough?? If the answer is yes, then you can celebrate fully what you have and who you are. This is not “settling for second best”. This is full acceptance of your achievements in life, of your creativity and talents and an awakening to the richness around you that life has to offer.

This practice may seem obvious, but it will only have a real impact if you actually do it, not just think about it. This is not an intellectual exercise. The power of the practice lies in the ability to feel deeply what your needs are and to know that you are getting your needs met! This leads to a deep sense of satisfaction, peace, and self-confidence, as well as having a deep impact on those around you. From a place of contentment, we feel a freedom to be more of who we truly are, not burdened by the pressures that society places on us and capable of taping into enormous amounts of power and energy. With this freedom we find that we have more time to devote to things that will bring us true happiness and the realization of our full potential. And this we will discuss in my next article….

About Joe Weston: Joe Weston is an international workshop facilitator and personal life coach. Born and educated in New York, Joe lived in Amsterdam for 17 years and now lives in California. He is committed to helping others embody spirituality and supports others on their journey towards personal fulfillment and empowerment. Joe brings a wealth of insight to his work based on many teachings, including Tai Chi Chuan and various spiritual traditions—plus his experience in theater and various organizational trainings. He also volunteers for the Liberation Prison Project, teaching Buddhism to inmates. To find out more about his workshops and his personal coaching, visit www.joeweston.com.



Sunday, December 20, 2009

Good Jew? Bad Jew? or just Dumb One?


Good Jew? Bad Jew? Or Dumb one?

Nate Klarfeld

As a practicing Jew, I have been repulsed by the actions and speech of Sen. Joe Lieberman. Several months ago he was for an across the board buy-in of Medicare for all. He ran for the US Senate on a universal government health care program. Now he vows (in order to be relevant I suppose) to filibuster any government support health plan. Where is the man’s integrity? Either in his ego or in his pocketbook. Either or both are a shanda (shame). May I remind Sen. Lieberman and his sleazy wife Hadassah (who gets paid hundreds of thousands of dollars a year working for a public relations firm representing health insurance companies that has just been caught…lying? …big surprise from the Liebermans), that the whole world is watching. Hopefully the vote this week will make them irrelevant forever.

“May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my soul be acceptable to you, oh Lord”

All the walking to shul and abstaining from pork won’t clear the Lieberman’s in my book or many others.

I honestly feel he has no idea what he is talking about, just wants the power surge. Short d#ck syndrome I suppose.

The rest of this blog is a reprint from Politico this week. The words sing loudly.

Thank you.

Have a peaceful week.

Nate Klarfeld

********************************************************************

Jewish organizations in the United States have been among the strongest supporters of health care reform of the kind that Lieberman's opposition may scuttle. They say that reflects the largely liberal and Democratic tendencies of their community, but also the longstanding tenets of Jewish tradition and teaching--as they see it.

"Senator Lieberman is looking at the same Jewish texts that we are, and reaching opposite conclusions," Mark Pelavin, associate director of the Religious Action Center of Reform Judaism, told The Forward, a leading Jewish weekly. "I've spent a lot of time in talks with Senator Lieberman, and he is not an easy person to sway.
!Not that Jewish leaders and lobbies aren't trying. As we reported last month, several rabbis in Lieberman's home state -- some of whom had not spoken out before on political issues -- have been pressuring Lieberman with prayer vigils and public petitions.

"Because he invokes his Jewish identity and Jewish values so frequently, we, as a community, should speak to what he is saying," Rabbi Ron Fish from Congregation Beth El, a Conservative synagogue in Norwalk, said about his decision to pen an open letter to Lieberman calling him out on his opposition to the health care bills.

But The Forward reports that local rabbis are also using quiet diplomacy, trying to get 25 of the state's 50 pulpit rabbis to sign on to a private letter to Lieberman to convince him to change his stand. The more liberal rabbis--Lieberman himself is Orthodox--apparently prefer a more confrontational approach. "There is a good cop, bad cop routine," one of them told the paper. "On the one hand, there are demonstrations outside his home; on the other, there are people trying to reach out behind the scenes."

Just like his foes, Lieberman sees his opposition as grounded in Jewish ethics, arguing that the health care proposals on the table would hurt America and would not help those who need i t-- although, as The Washington Post reported, his varying explanations of his varying positions have left various observers scratching their heads over his real reasons.

Whatever the motives, Lieberman is so committed to his political views and his religious traditions that he walked more than four miles to Capitol Hill from his Georgetown synagogue on a recent frigid Saturday to take part in a rare weekend health care debate -- one of just two dozen or so times during his senate career that he has made that trek on the Sabbath, when strictly observant Jews do not drive. "I have a responsibility to my constituents, really to my conscience, to be here on something as important as healthcare reform," he told The Hill.

Such high-minded talk grates on many Jewish leaders, who see passing health care reform as integral to the Jewish principal of tikkun olam, or repairing the world, which undergirds much of Judaism's longstanding tradition of social and political activism, mainly of the liberal variety.

Other factors are at play as well: Jews are immigrants whose history of persecution and constant exile have made them especially sensitive to the plight of the marginalized, and as a minority they know that liberal social policies that protect the weak from the strong can help them, too; Jews also tend to be better educated and wealthier than most Americans, both markers of socially progressive views. (And something that makes the fierce band of neo-con Jews like Norman Podhoretz, author of the recent "Why Are Jews Liberal," even more furious than Lieberman's liberal critics.)

But Lieberman himself held up tikkun olam as the guiding principle for his political life, as he explained in his autobiography In Praise of Public Life:

"The summary of our aspirations was in the Hebrew phrase tikkun olam, which is translated 'to improve the world' or 'to complete God's Creation.' It presumes the inherent but unfulfilled goodness of people and requires action for the benefit of the community. These beliefs were a powerful force in my upbringing and seem even more profound and true to me today. The ideal of service [is] fundamental to my religious faith."

At his SpiritualPolitics blog, Trinity College's Mark Silk cites the excerpt above and then notes that in 2000 and as recently as three months ago Lieberman advocated letting those as young as 55 buy into Medicare as a way to fix the health care system. But now that such a proposal is part of the reform package Lieberman is invoking it as a reason he will filibuster the bill. "What's the opposite of tikkun olam, Joe?" Silk asks.

So what explains Lieberman's seemingly contrarian stance not only on politics--his constituents as well as his co-religionists strongly support health care reform with a public option--but also on Jewish teaching? Some cite Lieberman's connections to the insurance industry in Connecticut, others think it's about paybacks for the Democrats dissing him during his reelection bid.

Writing in The New Republic, Jonathan Chait doesn't think it's all that complicated:

"I think one answer here is that Lieberman isn't actually all that smart. He speaks, and seems to think, exclusively in terms of generalities and broad statements of principle. But there's little evidence that he's a sharp or clear thinker, and certainly no evidence that he knows or cares about the details of health care reform."

Chait -- he's Jewish, too, so he can say this -- actually thinks Lieberman's upfront Jewishness has obscured the better question about his intellectual chops:

"I suspect that Lieberman is the beneficiary, or possibly the victim, of a cultural stereotype that Jews are smart and good with numbers. Trust me, it's not true. If Senator Smith from Idaho was angering Democrats by spewing uninformed platitudes, most liberals would deride him as an idiot. With Lieberman, we all suspect it's part of a plan. I think he just has no idea what he's talking about and doesn't care to learn."

In the end, it's unclear exactly what influence Lieberman's Judaism, or his fellow Jews, could have on his political decisions. These days, arguments over the good or bad faith in a pol's position are often associated with Roman Catholicism. But Judaism has no eucharist to withhold, no effective way to excommunicate an adherent, no real hierarchy to lay down the law -- and no widespread desire to implement any of those mechanisms. In fact, a hallmark of Judaism is disputation, so in a sense the arguments between Lieberman and his critics are only cementing their claims to being members of the tribe. Whether those debates seal the fate of health care reform will ultimately be decided on the floor of the Congress.